Wednesday, February 13, 2013

Ana from Ana's Attic asks, "What Is Sexy?"

I first came across Ana from Ana's Attic Book Blog in a review she wrote about Tara Sivec's Chocolate Lovers series.  It was as funny as Tara's book, so I had to invite her here!  Please take a gander at her very curvy post!

Curves and Confidence

I love how the theme of this Valentine's blog is the pin-up girl. Look at the average pin-up girl from the 50s. Curvy was sexy. Now? The 50s pin-up girl is labeled plus sized, or even FAT. Seriously? Is twiggy and bony the norm? I guess that depends…the average woman in the world is a size 14. But is that what we see portrayed in the media? Of course not, we see stick-thin models and actresses who pay their personal trainers and plastic surgeons to help them out along the way.

These people have careers that depend on them staying that thin, which can be a hell of a motivation. What about the rest of us? Those who have kids, jobs, husbands, homes, and just want to enjoy life a little instead of being afraid of every thing they put in their mouth? It can be hard to feel sexy and attractive when you compare yourself to the women in the media. Even "plus sized models" are a size 12.

I’m not saying there is anything wrong with being skinny (although the totally jealous bitch in my head calls all of you girls "skinny bitches"). I AM saying that woman who are confident and comfortable in their skin are the most attractive. I recently met a friend who, to me, was beautiful—she said she had 100 pounds on me, but she seemed so comfortable in her skin that she came across beautiful, fun and confident.

I'm a book blogger at Ana's Attic Book Blog. I admit it, I sit around and read and blog a lot. I need to lose weight, about 50 pounds or so. 30 pounds ago I was curvy, now-- I'm fat. But luckily my husband of 22 years still loves me and still wants me. Hey, his body may still be hot, but he's going bald and I still think he's gorgeous! Plus, I don't want to be skinny, (OK, maybe I do, a little-but I'm a realist) I'm OK being chunky...but I'd love to be able to buy pants anywhere, not just the plus department (I can still squeeze into regular sized tops if I have to).

I’m not one of those women who is big and proud of it. I never will be. I wish I could really love myself the way I am, but honestly, being this overweight is unhealthy. I don’t wear tight sparkly clothes and I try to blend in, always wearing black (but with great accessories!). I’m trying to accept what I can, and change little things to get healthy every day. I don’t hate myself. I haven’t given up. I just have other things that take priority.

I still get dressed everyday in something other than yoga pants, I still do my hair (I have great hair), shave my legs and put on makeup. I still try to look the best I can with what I have (and I have a lot!). I try to dwell less on the negative, and more on the positive. Do I like being the "fat friend?" NO. But do I like eating cookies and reading more than salad and exercise? YES. I make the choice, I live with it, and try to embrace what I am.

I went through a stage of not being interested in sex. After 16 years of marriage and 2 kids, I felt too bad about myself, I was too tired, and we lost our spark. Until I started reading books again. Then, my imagination woke up! I especially love books where the heroine isn't perfect. Sherrilyn Kenyon has some awesome heroines in her Dark Hunter Series, and Cherise Sinclair writes great imperfect women in her Masters of the Shadowlands and Mountain Masters Series, and they are H-O-T! It’s nice to read about a real woman once in a while.

I know a ton of women who have said Fifty Shades of Grey saved their marriage. I don’t know that it saved mine, but it certainly was one of the books that brought it back to life, and in the 2 years since reading it, and many other sexy books (Check out Ana's Attic!), my marriage has been better than ever. I have become more open with what I want. In fact, I sometimes take screen shots of good pages in my books and send them to my husband….it’s a nice, easy way to give him ideas in the bedroom. After 22 years of marriage, my sex life if better than ever! My husband, (as long as he’s getting’ some), treats me wonderfully, and still pretends to find me sexy (and I know his lower half does). It makes me feel sexier, which is making me a happier person. See my Books with Hot Sex AND Great Stories list for more inspiration.

I am starting another blog Starting On Monday, that will be all about being too curvy and too busy (or lazy) to do anything about it. It will have sections on fashion, dieting, recipes, books, family, and observations about the world around us from a curvy mom’s point of view. Hopefully I will have lots of guest bloggers as well. It will be live this month, and I’d love to have you all join me for some snarky, curvy fun talking about topics like this and more.

To help celebrate the fact that we don't have to be skinny to be sexually attractive, Cherise Sinclair will be helping me out by giving away the first in her Mountain Masters SeriesMaster Of The Mountain.

Some of you may think you are too skinny, too tall, too short, too flat, too whatever... but you are ALL beautiful in your own way, and feeling beautiful goes a long way towards being beautiful. It doesn't hurt to make sure you're getting lots of big O's along the way...

When Rebecca's boyfriend talks her into vacationing at a mountain lodge with his swing club, she quickly learns she's not cut out for playing musical beds. Now she has nowhere to sleep. Logan, the lodge owner, finds her freezing on the porch. After hauling her inside, he warms her in his own bed, and there the experienced Dom discovers that Rebecca might not be a swinger...but she is definitely a submissive. Rebecca knows that no one can love her plump, scarred body. To her shock, lodge owner Logan not only disagrees, but ties her up and shows her just how much he enjoys her curves. Under his skilled hands, Rebecca not only loses her inhibitions, but also her heart.

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